A Soulful Letter To A Soulless Man

Dear Person Who Took My Phone,

You probably haven’t thought about me, the person whose phone you took today, but you took my phone. That phone is now a cold lump of metal in your hand, a shell that my network immobilised so that you couldn’t make expensive calls and access my bank details or perform a epic Facebook rape.

What you don’t realise is that although the phone is covered on my insurance and so I’ll probably be able to get another phone, you invaded my privacy in a way only applicable to modern day. A few years ago a persons life wasn’t on their phone, but in today’s time it is. And so along with some apps that my phone gave you access to, you also had access to my memories, my photos and videos that made my year important, and that I can no longer see.

I had photos of my gap year, Costa Rica and North America, that I won’t get back. I had the video I made my friend Kitty before she went home, and the bacon interviews with Miguel when we were looking after baby chicks. I’ll never get to watch the vid of Becca belting out ‘Happy Ending’ by Avril Lavigne while heading down Route 66. There was also a picture of a shaved rabbit on there that made me happy when I was down.

My contacts were on that phone, so what if I never intended to call half the people I have listed as friends, the fact was I could have, and now I will never again hear the bell-like tone of that girl who was my best friend for an hour when I was drunk that one time, a real shame. You may not care that I have to start all over again in my attempts to reach the end of the lane in candy crush, but I’ll be damned if I pay my way to the top! To you that phone is parts and maybe some cheeky bikini shots, to me it was a little electronic diary of my entire year. A record of texts, photos and videos that I will never see again.

So iPhone thief, you may think my phone is without heart, but in truth I feel it has more soul than you, you took my iPhone and for that I hope you severely hurt yourself with a household appliance when you get home,

Yours Sincerely



Team photo with my faithful phone