Where Are All The ‘Hot’ Girls?

Greetings today my little pumpkin flutes, and how has everyone been? I hope you have all been making use of the good weather (and if you’re Australian/American I hope you have been making use of the regular weather! Don’t say I don’t cater to all my readers, it’s just rude) I am sorry I have not blogged in a while, but believe me when I say it’s because you need to gird your loins for what I have planned for you, and not at all because I’m lazy…

So one question me and Becca had to ask the other day, as we spooled through various ‘fit motivation’ pics of ‘hot’ girls on my twitter (@ellaspottiswood if you’re so inclined) is where are all these hot girls, who we aspire to be like unreal life? Do they dress in baggy clothes to coverup their ‘hot girl’ identity? (Doubtful if they are ok with all their views online) do they only exist on the Internet? Is there just one hot girl out there who is both fit (has great abb/ass) is fine (face ass good as her ass) and willing to rub it in all our visages? (Has a twitter/Pinterest/tumblr/stumbleupon dedicated to sharing her photos) well I have come up with a complete mathematical and logical equation to find out!

(If only there were a mathematical equation for these abbs that didn’t involve the subtraction of pizza!)

Ok so to begin with I am estimating that the population is roughly 50/50 percent male and female, which leaves us with (waaaaaaait) 50%! Now it gets fun because according to google, 79% of the population is classified as third world, so don’t have access to a gym or, God forbid, a mac book pro, to snap their bikini bods on (omg totes ridic right?) that leaves us with 21% of the population who have ready access to these privileges, 50% of which are women, leaving us with 10.5% of women who have access to first world technology, and fresh drinking water… Of that percentage 30% are considered overweight, so we have 7.5% of women in the world who have access to technology who aren’t overweight (STAY WITH ME PEOPLE!)

A nice yet fictional bum.

Now we need to look at the personalities of these women, a survey I carried out at school a while back showed me that 60% of girls are unhappy with their bodies (probably because of the images the media exposes them to on the Internet of this mythical hot girl) so of that 7.5% lets say that only 4.5% of these girls are happy with the way they look. Of that many people we have to take into account age, as most of our population is over 30 and, not wanting to seem ageist, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a 30 year old body as a motivational pic (raising even more issues in itself) for this percentage I went to the national census website and couldn’t find the answer, 79% are considered aged though, so I’m simply going to half the 4.5% of women who don’t live in 3rd world countries, who are not considered overweight, who are happy with their bodies, who fit the age demographic, this leaves us with 2.25% of women.

Tummy, legs and a photoshop app, who could ask for more?!

If you have made it thus far, thank you, you will see we have a number of questions thrown up along the way such as ‘why is there so much poverty in the world?’ ‘Why is there so much obesity’, ‘why are so many women uncomfortable with how they look’ (probably because of the images of these mythical hot girls) ‘why do we not consider age to be attractive on women?’ Or, if you are Becca and I ‘Where are all the hot girls?!’.

Getting back to that baby 2.25% of women who have access to technology, who aren’t obese, who fit the age demographic and are happy with how they look, I can only hope and pray that they don’t all make a living off their bodies. Not all women who are not overweight go to the gym, not all women who go to the gym are fit, not all women who are fit have the ‘correct’ body type, not all women who have the body have the face, not all women who have this body type and the face choose to post these pictures online. This is where my maths breaks down because the Internet has, quite frankly, failed to give me the information (I never thought I’d see the day!) so I halved each time and came up with 0.140625% of the world who is out there who is actually the hot girl that we seek to emulate! Doing some rounding up that’s 0.1% of the population! 0.1%!

(0.1% of the population but 100% of the women on my twitter feed, why?!)

So we simply need to find 30% of 7 billion and then find 0.1% of that 30% and we have found the ‘hot’ girls! Then we can all go and lie down.

That ladies and gentlemen leaves us with 21,000,000 or 2.1 million women who actually exist, which is probably inaccurate and defiantly wrong that, although this number is miniscule, women are expected to attempt to fit into this demographic! To give you an idea of how small this number is (because if you’re like me, numbers on their own are fairly incomprehensible) according to the 2013 census, London has a population of 8.2 million, so that’s a quarter of London, spread out over the world. So why is it that these girls are the ones that we are meant to emulate? These bodies are the only bodies we are shown in the media, the only bodies that we are meant to use as our ‘body role models’ yet these bodies are not the norm.

This body is more normal than those bodies, yet which one gets most media attention?!

So why is so much made of this tiny number in the media when there are bigger numbers out there we should be worrying about? For example 34 million people world wide living with aids, over half of which are women, or the fact that two thirds of the illiterate population of the world are women, that’s 600,000,000 people.

3 billion people live on less than £2.50 a day

So we shouldn’t be worried about these women, to all intents and purposes they really don’t exist. Instead of thinking about this number, worrying you’re not perfect, we could maybe focus on the bigger numbers. The ‘hot’ girls barely exist, so we shouldn’t waste our valuable energy worrying about being them, maybe we should channel that energy we spent worrying about these non-existent women, into something that matters. Maybe it’s changing the world, or maybe it’s loving yourself more, but either way this number shouldn’t be the first and foremost in our mind, over and out.

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