Thinking Is Bad For You


So my small French horns I have a big event coming up on Tuesday (all big events seem to fall on Tuesdays on this blog don’t they? Other days you are special too, except you Monday, you were an accident) I have my driving test! Ok whatever guys its a big deal. It’s high time it was passed anyway. Being a nineteen year old who can’t drive inevitably gets you the retard status wherever you come from.

Its worth pointing out my English subjects may sympathise more here, as we learn to drive later and it’s actually fairly common to fail a couple of times before you pass anyway, the test is hard ok?! My American peeps from over the water though will be putting on their ‘oh honey I understand, it’s ok to be special’ face, as I got a lot in our trip in the US, because in America even the family chiawahwca has a licence. Even by English standard I am slow though, I’ve not even had a go at my test yet, Tuesday is the first attempt and, as you can rely on me to do, I am here to tell you my issues with the affair.

As All of my ultra-cool chiller followers out there will know (if you’re not an ultra cool chiller you can easily achieve this status by following me, cheeky up-sell there) that I’m a big believer in positive thinking and promote the idea of a healthy self-image and so on and so forth. However sometimes you feel the world in a negative place around you and your environment is a hard one to remain positive in. My environment in this instance is inside a car with my driving instructor.

Now I’ve been told many times by many different people that I’m a big over thinker. I’m not entirely convinced, yes I think about things, but really what else am I meant to spend my time doing? Thinking is what we do from the second we get up to the second we go to sleep and even then our little minds buzz away figuring out what happened and what went wrong so the next day we can get up and fathom what our minds came up with in their down time. But this is a problem that has apparently filtered into my driving and so, as I get behind a heavy piece of potentially lethal machinery I am being told ‘not to over think it’. Which makes perfect sense.

Furthermore, as the test is soon I’m getting lots of advice from my very supportive friends, not so much the fam they would rather I just get over it, saying to just stay positive and most of all ‘NOT TO OVER THINK IT!’. Yes you’re getting into the car with an examiner but just don’t over think it and it’ll be ok. Now in fairness that makes prefect sense, but telling someone not to think about a thing which they have to tell you about in order to tell you not to think about it is a lot like telling you not to think about Bradley Cooper topless, you shouldn’t but you can’t stop. The test will come, the test will go, I will pass or I will fail, and that is fine, but how can I not think about it?

This image is for mental support only, much like flash cards and PowerPoint…

The way I see it I have two choices here: either I can spend the next week re-wiring how my brain has worked for the last nineteen years of existence, a daunting if not impossible task which would probably require intensive therapy and possibly an entirely new exploit into the realms of stem-cell research. Or I can find a way that works for me, as is, as am, Aslan. What? (Did I also mention I get distracted easily?) Maybe not thinking works for some but as that simply isn’t going to happen for me I have decided that as I’m thinking I may as well do it right. Focussing less on the negative parts, the fact I need to drive for my job, the fact my family is getting fed up of driving me about, the fact I’m running swiftly out of money and freedom so I need to drive for my job (the circle continues) I am going to over think positively. Yes, this is a hiccup on my way to maximum awesomeness, but does that mean that I am unable to achieve maximum awesomeness? No sir! Maximum awesome is not a place, maximum awesome is a state of mind. These external things shall not stop me down my mental hop-scotch. I will not think of failure, I will think of success and/or cake. The pressure cannot penetrate my bubble made of manic energy, passion and/or cake. I will think my way success! I bet no one saw that coming.

I’d be really interested though in finding out how everyone else deals with pressure, how did you do a driving test? How do you cope for interviews? Do you get tongue-tied in the middle of a conversation as it suddenly occurred to you the person you’re talking to is really cool so you don’t want to appear like a loon and therefore end up looking like a loon? … that never happened. If so what is your recovery tactic?

As a minor side note I have also joined the Pinterest ranks this week (ella spottiswood) so we should all party on down and let yourselves known to me, we can share boards and pin each other and stuff…

Image shamelessly taken from: