The ‘New Girl’ Hypothesis

As someone who loves the show ‘New Girl’, Nick and Winston if you’re out there give me a call, I have recently been shutdown by a very pure and cold fact; sitcoms are not real life.

(That look you get when you realise you forgot to put pants on, just me? Ok.)

‘New Girl’ has gotten in trouble a lot since its been out for being anti feminist, she panders too much to being just another damsel in distress character, think Rachel in ‘friends’, Willie Scott from ‘Indiana Jones’, and pretty much any Disney princess – but I’ve already laid into them in ‘Disney Ruined Your Life!’ so let’s move on. They say that she, as a person who likes to bake and play with children, eww not in that way you’re sick, she is putting women back in their classic gender role. But as Jess points out in ‘Jess and Julia’ you are allowed to have touched glitter in the last 24 hours and still be a strong independent woman who don’t need no man ‘snaps fingers’… Ok she didn’t say exactly that but you get the image. So long as women don’t feel pressured into that role kitchen, I mean, role, then do what you will and now if you don’t mind my rainbow cake is burning…


The thing that torments me about ‘New Girl’ is the fact that I wish it were real and it’s not.
If Jess bumbles around and makes an idiot of herself in front of the guy she likes (which happens in every episode that has reached the UK so far, no spoilers thank you, she still hasn’t even gotten with Nick!) instead of running for the proverbial hills, he inevitably finds her ‘kooky’ and ‘cute’, resulting in a few more episodes where she is able to carry on as she is without being sectioned. I think the reason the show is so popular is because women can identify with the idiot part, as at one point or another everyone has done something really toe curlingly ‘I-am-going-to-lie-on-the-floor-in-the-fetal-position-until-it-all-goes-away’ bad, without the crushing reality that if they did the same thing the guy would run for the literal hills, if like Jess you live in LA. If you come from where I do you’ll probably find a cow or something.

(They still aren’t together!)

On the one hand I think it’s a brilliant idea, as it publicises the fact that a lot of people are weird, making flying your freak flag (thank you ‘Shrek The Musical’ for such a great phrase) an ok thing, nay, a fashionable thing (hipsters Im checkin’ you out here) and I think that’s all well and good. But as a person who gets themselves really confused about the connotations of a single text, and thinks the answer is legitimately to brood over it for a good few days and then actually phone that person to find out what they meant, I really don’t think I need any more encouragement in that area thank you and goodbye.

This got me thinking about all the crazy shit people do when it comes to the person they like, because liking someone is a form of madness there is inevitably a lot of crazy that ensues. It may be a jealousy so pure that you uncontrollably stalk that persons Instagram until you (I’m into italics today, can you tell?) look like the person who likes them… I’m not referring to anyone I know here… ‘Cough’… It could be reading back over every text message you and that person have ever sent to one another ‘haha so funny! Ohh whyyy are we not together?!’ (Cassandra Goth, who feels the need for a code name today, that piece of mentality is care of you, so crazy she wants a code name), a billion snapchats later and you figure out that maybe they won’t reply after all… Unless you send them THAT cos it’s reaaaaally funny!

(‘And the he texted back ‘haha x’)

The thing I conclude is that apps are responsible for the death of many a budding romance, but maybe ‘New Girl’ isn’t to blame. The writers could see that whatever happens people will always turn insane when they like a person and ‘New Girl’ was created as an escape from the fact that this isn’t always the best idea. Rather than encouraging a new crazy generation it provides comfort to the loopy love birds who are already out there. So go on writing, you have my long awaited blessing, and I wait the day when I am invited in for my guest role.

If anyone wants to join me in sharing their most embarrassing moments then please do! I’ve revealed lots in my post so it’s only fair you join my in my judgement free zone of love and insanity!

Images taken from: