Ladies, look at your man, now look at Ryan Gosling, now look at your man. Sadly he’s not Ryan Gosling, but does that mean you shouldn’t get to look at six-packs all day long?
One thing I’ve been introduced to while spooling through the pages of the Internet in search of enlightenment (why I thought I’d find it on the Internet I’ll never know, but it brought you here so maybe there’s something in it after all) is a website called ‘True Lad’. If you have seen it on your travels then skip the next sentence, or not, if you like witty satirical shenanigans. It’s basically a refuge on the Internet where men can commune together and tell each other stories about the last time they played the personal flute/did something to do with that football thing I hear so much about/had sex, once in a while you get a genuinely uplifting story but it tends to be lost in with the sexual conquests. As far as I’m concerned though its an each to their own situation though and so, untill now, have consigned it to the ‘do not understand’ section of my brain and let it be…I said UNTIL NOW!
The thing that makes me more self-righteous than a roast potato at a mashed potato convention (roasted are just better, they, they just are) is that on their inevitable twitter page they have created an institution called ‘Cleavage Thursday’ which as you can guess involves girls sending in photos of themselves for male judgement/enjoyment on, yes you guessed it, Thursday. Now it makes me sad that girls let themselves be objectified in this way (but its a free country and I’m sure they don’t understand why I feel the need to eat carbs, so swings and roundabouts I guess) but the whole website allows men see women just as just objects for sex. It’s seemingly based on the idea that you can sum up a girl by how she is rated out of 10, and if a girl ever posts she is inevitably boo’d from the website, essentially creating a sub-culture in which it’s ok to be a sexist pig, simply because that’s what you’re allowed to do ‘as a lad’. Yet again it’s something I don’t understand, and I would let it go…
BUT SCREW THAT! If men get to mindlessly ogle girls who haven’t realised the difference between attention and respect then god dammit why don’t I? I’m not talking about me getting to check out racks, I have a large community of female friends so they’re on-tap for me already, I’m talking about man-flesh. When do I get my ‘Torso Tuesday’ in which I am allowed to stare at Ryan Gosling-esque wonders, shamelessly exploiting their own bodies for my enjoyment? Where is ‘Six-pack Saturday’ where boys snap themselves in front of their mirrors so ladies double their age can rate them out of ten ‘ohhh he’s so adorable, reminds me of my son’.
So I’ve invented it, just then. Just when you read it just there, see? #torsotuesday starting from Tuesday (I’m giving you the weekend in order to do sit-ups etc.). I’m sure there’s a few folk out there wondering what has just happened, what is this girl doing, taking clothes off is a ladies job. Another few of you are thinking ‘Ella two wrongs don’t make a right’. Well you’re both wrong and I’m right so ha! Firstly in a world of supposed ‘sexual liberation’ for some reason it’s still unacceptable for women (not men, just girls) to spend hours a day looking at men, so we should shake up gender-roles there and run with it. Secondly I highly doubt we will ever live in a world where people aren’t objectified for sex, I just think that we need to level the playing field. I’ve had my ass grabbed and my chest stared at enough to earn me the divine right to give men the same.
And men, don’t claim I’m going to far here, have you ever had a picture of your girlfriend on your phone to do as you please with? Has she had the same? If the answer is no then you should prove, like your girlfriend probably felt she had to prove, that you’re not frigid by being a ‘good lad’ and joining in. It’s only fair, and if you think it’s too far then I think you should probably think of all the times you’ve done the same to women and only then come and talk to me about fair. Torso Tuesday lads, it is on, see you there.
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