Why Boys Are Bitches

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South Congress in Austin, I’m all over the Instagram hype (@ellaspottiswood)

So once it twice as a person does on a 3 week road trip in a car with two other people, things get tense. I’m not talking about sore or tense muscles from long hours behind the wheel on little sleep and/or no food, that’s the entire point, I’m talking about the time-in-memorial spiritual and emotional tensions between a group if three, consisting in this happy yet dysfunctional grouping of two girls and a boy.

Now folks I like to consider myself a chilled bean as far as frozen vegetables go, plus this is a subjective blog so I can make you believe whatever I want (incidentally did I tell you about my recent Oscar?), and so on the odd occasion I would flare like an irritated boil under the intense scrutiny of a five year old who wont leave it alone (bad memories) I would generally have a mild moan to the guy and then get over it.

However friends I’d like to share with you a curious fact of the trip, the boy was a bit of a bitch too. I don’t say this as a bad thing but the fact of it was he LOVED a good old verbal blood bath. I, in my infinite wisdom ‘cough’ am here to tell you why.

As a stereotype boys are not expected to bitch, another example as to why gender roles just don’t work, indeed this boy claimed he had never bitched before he had started hanging out with girls, preferring to solve his problems with his pals in a good old set of fisty cuffs (how very evolved) however because if this fact they get away with being a lot more bitchy than the average girl. For example people claim that an all girls school is a very bitchy place to go, I went to an all girls school people and let me tell you now it was the least bitchy environment I’ve ever had the luck-of-the-draw-sort-of to learn in. Also to set records straight we aren’t sluts and don’t ‘practise’ on each other. So put your prejudices down at the door along with that video camera, now lets continue…

So boys get to bitch and bitch some more, and girls seem to take it. Maybe it’s an anthropology thing where girls are more opposed to each other naturally as we’re all just hard wired to want babies, and so will take it more from a guy. Or maybe we don’t expect to be betrayed by any friend, least of all a boy, because we expect it least of all from a boy. Whatever the reason boys are bitches too.

Now the blame isn’t all one sided here, gender shouldn’t make a difference to the words we say and so it shouldn’t matter who they come from, however these poor unfortunates have never been taught how to bitch as girls have and so their words inevitably come off as more cruel. A girl calls a girl fat? That girl says ‘bitch I knew you was a hoe’ and moves on. A boy calls a girl fat? That girl is found face down in a pool if her own vomit with ‘why won’t you love me?!’ Written in blood on her face… Too far? Well you get the picture.

So all my message here is to expect boys to bitch as much as girls bitch as they really do and it’s probably sexist to say otherwise. But if you are a boy please be careful with your words, one thing I did learn from school was one careless word from an unthinking mouth can mean a lot of wasted tears and tantrums, we all make mistakes, but lets just run as much damage control as we can.

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2 thoughts on “Why Boys Are Bitches

  1. I agree with you, we guys bitch just as much. I don’t so I shouldn’t have said we right?
    I went to an all-boys school for a few years and I’ve never seen as many cat fights as I saw there.

    1. Haha you have to say ‘we’, bitching isn’t like being a vegetarian, you can’t quit! :p
      Exactly! I think people also forget how many boys get involved in girl dramas, inside any major drama there’s always boy commentary

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