Urban Bitchionary And An Idea

I bitch. You bitch. He/She/It bitches. Why I hear your little voice clamour in desperate excitement? (Well maybe you’re not that bothered, but you SHOULD be, I’m a hoot!) well, why not? Why not indeed! Don’t you just hate it when a friend bitches to you because a friend has bitched about them?! No sense, present me with the sense there, can you see it? I see it not!

Now in order never to seem ignorant and un-researched I looked up the term ‘bitching’ on Urban Dictionary (because that’s where totes down with it kidz like me hang… innit) to get a good old definition, thus defining what we’re talking about here. The general theme was “excessive complaining” about another person (don’t say I never did anything for you, obscure education right there).

Jesus Christ! Oh my, oh my, oh my, we are all bitches, what a surprise! Now I don’t wish to seem like the messiah, as referanced above, but let he who hath no sin guys, right? I personally am a massive bitch. I love people, and writing about people, and I also love a good rant, so why not combine the two? Logical and reasoned thinking, well done me. And don’t pretend you’re not exactly the same. There will be some out there who say that they don’t bitch but you are in denial, at some point you have opened your mouth and the hate-words come out.

And there’s nothing wrong with that, people get on other people’s nerves and they need to let it out. I personally never say anything about a person that I wouldn’t say to their smug little face, which has gotten me into the rolling deep on more than one occasion – inspiring Adele to write a song actually – but I guess that is the price for high morals (ironic sigh). The wrong thing is the ones out there among you who try to cover up their bitching, the “oh my god she is a stinking whore, oh aren’t I mean” types. Yes, yes you are mean, welcome off your high horse and join the rest of us! Bitching isn’t the problem here, it’s honesty, raising your access utensils in the air and saying ‘I’m a bitch’, instead of this ‘yes I said that but-‘ attitude. You said something bad, the least you can do is have enough backbone in your serpentine muscle sack to standby what you said. Because now you’re not just a bitch but you’re also a ‘little bitch’, the definition on Urban Dictionary being spot on here; “Someone who’s whiny, petty, and passive-aggressive and won’t stand up for him/herself when shit’s going down, but will be perfectly happy to stab you in the back when you least expect it. Very distinct from a regular bitch” thank you UD old chum old pal my balky old friend what ho, can you give me a cheeky example there? “No, I don’t think you’re a little bitch because you’re a girl. I think you’re a little bitch because you’re a sniveling rat who I can’t trust with a weather report, never mind something important.” … Ok now I think maybe you’re projecting a tad, but happy snaps to you none the less.

What is the point of this raving Ella? Well yes there’s a point! I want you (yeah I’m cranking this relationship up a notch! Wheeyo!) to tell me what you hate, and then I want YOU to let ME bitch about it for you. I start a lovely little page it the up-there top-bit of my blog that is specifically designated to letting it all hang out and we get our rant on together. Bitter and twisted right? YES, but you kinda love it don’t you? Yes, admit it, you love it. But in a very wrong way it is very right, healthy even, not in denial at all. So stick a comment below and lets get it on bleeps!

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