Apocalypse, The Review

So apparently the world is ending tomorrow… And considering this is definitely completely and utterly a flawless theory, above doubt and question in every way I thought we could ponder together the things we can do now we’re all fated to perish in the eternal flames of hell….

Find out! Unless you’re completely asexual, and I have my doubts as to whether that’s actually a thing, you like someone, may it be the person you have watched from afar or the person you never took the leap out of the friendzone for because the rejection would just rip your little heart in two. Well lucky you because in 24 hours your little heart will be ripped asunder by a flesh-eating super meteor instead, so you can finally find out whether they felt the same way, without feeling like a fool I front of that person. I’m sure they’ll wet themselves in fear when you become a Zombie anyway, who’ll be the idiot THEN right? … Guys?

Do the unthinkable. So you have a ‘moral code’, but really, is there a moral code when you’re fighting over a radioactive puddle as a source of drinking water in the post-war apocalypse? Crime is something we don’t do, but that was the old us, the one that wasn’t preparing to watch the world burn in a cocaine fuelled haze. Time to let go and steal that pack of gum you crazy crazy war lord you.

Say the words. Even though the person you hate is dying in the arms of their loved ones, from the wounds sustained trying to save YOUR loved ones, you still can’t resist the urge to push them into the underworld without your heart felt message of loathing. You deserve to get it off your chest after the hard day of looting after all!

See it, do it. Always wanted to see Mumford & Sons live? well now you have a gun they seem more than happy to do a live show! People are so obliging, really willing to go a long with the ‘end of the world’ spirit. Every cloud, you know.

Gluttony. Finally after that hard day you can stuff your face, with a horse! Make the phrase a reality, why not? It may be the only one able to carry that child over the burning field of lava to safety, but at times like these, you need some ‘you’ time. You know, spoil yourself.

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