Disney Ruined Your Life!

Oh my. Did she? What slander! But yes, as part of the generation who could sing the Disney love medley before she could walk, I come here to propose that Disney has ruined YOUR life.

While humming to my favourite ditty from ‘Tangled’ the other day I was forced to consider Disney may be the ruin of my generation. Lets start with unrealistic hopes shall we? (Oh yes Ella lets!) ‘Cinderella’ seems to depict that a girl can slave all her life and yet for completely un-connected reasons end up in a castle with the dim-witted prince of her dreams – who himself seems unable to recognise her without appropriate footwear. Now I’ve seen Les Miserables, so don’t come knocking on my door and tell me that’s in anyway accurate to life. Even an entirely musical creation bears more of a semblance to reality, and I talk as a person whose had more than one disappointing conversation with a mouse. Her victory isn’t even something she has worked hard to gain! The prince essentially decided he wanted to ‘tap that’ and so boosted her from humble beginnings to celebrity princess status, demonstrating all her previous labours were an unnecessary waste of her time, hello generation of gold-digging sugar-daddy chasing ‘princesses’.

Looking closer we see what’s worse! Each heroine or ‘princess’, as the advertisers so cunningly branded them, is simply incomplete without a Prince Charming. Pocahontas starts out this completely independent lady with a head of hair I’d sell my grandmother for and a penchant for diving into waterfalls, only to be reduced to putty by one John Smith. The love of her life is then allowed to sail away from her forever and we deem it some sort of romantic justice?! Pah to that Disney!

In ‘Sleeping Beauty’ the overriding message seems to be its ok to pass out at your birthday because your prince will come and rescue you, reality involves some sort of roughies and a prince named Gary, just no. Snow White is a similar story, except the roughies do actually seem to feature, that’s right poisoned apple you dirty metaphor you.

Even a modern film like ‘The Frog Princess’ is guilty of this sexist hypocracy. She has a dream, and no it’s not that ‘one day her prince will come’ she wants to own a restraunt, a sound dream in a modern world. Yet everyone, including an alligator and a firefly in love with the moon, insists she is incomplete without this waster of a guy she picks up on the way. Note to men here; you wonder why ladies go for bad boys? Just look at Disney! Where isnt there a charming rouge who may or may not believe himself to be a killer (hello ‘Lion King’) to sweep the damsel in distress off her feet/paws? Women, same story, look at Meg in ‘Hercules’, who wouldn’t go after that fine piece…of art?

So yes, Disney has ruined you. But who cares, it’s catchy right?

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Image from: http://midnightrosesblood.deviantart.com/art/Disney-Princesses-and-their-shocked-moments-306857978

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